tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
