I need to stop coming to work sober
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
