just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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