There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
