I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
