we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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