it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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