I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
