You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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