distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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