R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
