really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
