it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's Friday. Sex?
my sisters under your porch take her home
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
