Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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