lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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