This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
