Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
