I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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