Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
