She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
