Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
