I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
