my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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