I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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