Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
