dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize