I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize