were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
