How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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