i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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