I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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