apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
