The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
