I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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