why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i came on her dog
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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