would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
