are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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