Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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