i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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