When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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