Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
