I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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