Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
