we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's never too late to be topless.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
