The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
