I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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