I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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