I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
