Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
