i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we're making bets on your personal life
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
