I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
