I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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