im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize