Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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