i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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