take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
sarcasm needs its own font
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
