I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
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My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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