will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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