i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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